The Heart Surgeon's Baby Surprise Read online

  we think so I don’t think a boy with a girl’s heart would

  feel anything other than tremendously grateful to the

  girl who gave it to him.You already know about the con-

  fidentiality of organ donor lists and, yes, it must be hard

  for you not to know, but Phil—Dr Park—couldn’t tell

  you who got your heart any more than the donor centre

  can. I’ve only been here a short time, but I know from

  the records I read before coming that Phil hasn’t lost a

  patient in the last year, so we can assume your heart is

  going well and doing a great job for someone. Does that

  help?’

  She watched Kelly think about it, but she was obvi-

  ously more interested in the first part of the conversa-

  tion than in the health of her heart recipient.

  ‘You mean you have to think about things—love

  and stuff—with your head before you feel it in your

  body?’

  Grace wasn’t entirely certain this was true. The at-

  traction between her and Theo was so strong—on her

  part anyway—she all but lost her head whenever he was

  near.

  ‘I think physical attraction doesn’t need much

  thinking about,’ she admitted. ‘You know, getting goose-

  bumps when you’re near a boy you like.’ Did teenagers

  get goose-bumps? ‘But real love, the kind that might

  hurt your heart, or your liver in another civilisation,

  well, that has more to do with your head than your body.’

  Good grief! Was she really spouting this rubbish?

  Did she believe it? She had no idea, but Kelly seemed

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  to be thinking about her words so they might be

  helping.

  ‘But what about babies?’

  This question came out of the blue, fitting into

  Grace’s mindset in a positively creepy way.

  ‘Babies?’

  ‘If it’s a boy with my heart, will he love his babies

  like a man or like a woman?’

  Grace smiled.

  ‘I think men and women love their babies in the

  same way. I think both their hearts hurt when their

  babies cry.’

  Theo’s wouldn’t because he wouldn’t hear their baby

  cry. She had to think about this!

  ‘But it’s not really their heart that’s hurting, it’s emo-

  tion causing their distress,’ she added, ‘and emotion can

  change the way we breathe and the way our hearts

  work, so we might experience a dull ache in the chest

  and we say it’s heartache but really it’s a physical mani-

  festation of the change in our bodies because of the

  emotion we’re feeling.’

  Once again the young woman with the most unusual

  reason for visiting a specialist Grace had ever heard

  seemed to be thinking.

  ‘I think I understand,’ she finally said. ‘Mind you, if

  he or she is anything like me, when I get a pain in the

  chest I panic and think something’s gone wrong medi-

  cally, not that I might be suffering love heartache.’

  ‘That’s a sensible way to feel, although you seem

  extremely healthy. Your specialists are happy with

  your progress?’

  Kelly beamed.

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  ‘Very happy,’ she said. ‘It’s a year ago today and look

  at me.’

  She stood up and twirled around, her skirt flying out

  around her legs.

  ‘Before I would have been breathless standing up

  and I certainly couldn’t have turned around.’

  ‘Then you must be extremely grateful to the person

  whose heart and lungs you received and you should

  understand that whoever got your heart is feeling just

  as grateful to you.’

  ‘But it’s different for me,’ Kelly argued. ‘Because

  my donor is dead and though I’m grateful to his or her

  family for donating the organs, I don’t have to worry

  about what’s happening in his or her life, if you know

  what I mean!’

  Grace did, but Kelly obviously had more to say so

  she waited.

  ‘The thing is, it’s horrid having to go on being

  grateful—I know, because I’ve been sick all my life that

  I can remember, and people were always doing nice

  things for me and my family, and we went on trips and

  had camps and I liked all that but you have to keep

  thanking people and it kind of bugs you after a while,

  and what I really wanted to say to my heart person is

  that there’s no need to feel grateful to me, because I

  only gave him or her something that would have been

  tossed in the rubbish otherwise.’

  A heart tossed in the rubbish—the analogy was too

  close for comfort as far as Grace was concerned but

  Kelly was talking about real hearts, not emotion, except

  that gratitude was an emotion.

  ‘I don’t think you should worry about the person

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  being grateful,’ Grace said, ‘because telling someone

  not to be grateful isn’t going to stop them. Your person

  might not think about you every day, but I’m sure when

  something nice happens in his or her life, like a beau-

  tiful sunny day after rain, or seeing a really good

  football game if it’s a boy, then I’m sure somewhere

  inside they say thank you to you, sending out a message

  into the ether and probably hoping that just as nice

  things are happening to you.’

  Once again Kelly seemed to consider the words,

  then she smiled.

  ‘I reckon I can live with that,’ she said, ‘so that will

  do for emotion, but what about practical stuff? What if

  my heart went to a boy and I meet him in ten years’ time

  and we fall in love—would that be OK for our babies

  and stuff?’

  Grace smiled at her.

  ‘Do you lie awake at night thinking up difficult ques-

  tions for doctors to answer?’

  Kelly returned her smile.

  ‘No, I lie awake at night listening to my lungs

  work—or not listening to them. But would babies be

  OK?’

  ‘Babies would be OK,’ Grace assured her, ‘but as two

  people with complex medical issues in your pasts, you’d

  need to have genetic testing because your babies could

  inherit the problems you both had. And you’d probably

  have to go into enough detail about your medical con-

  ditions that the chances are you’d find out he had your

  heart.’

  ‘Wow! Wouldn’t that be great?’

  Bizarre would be closer to the mark, Grace thought,

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  but she didn’t say it. Teenage girls should be allowed

  to keep their dreams.

  She walked out with Kelly, said goodbye to her at

  the front desk, and was heading back to the consulta-

  tion room to tidy up the files and dictate a note to Phil

  when Becky stopped her.

  ‘She wasn’t really one of Phil’s old babies, was

  she?’ she asked.

  Seventh daughter of a
seventh daughter?

  ‘What makes you think that?’ Grace asked, dismiss-

  ing the irreverent thought.

  ‘Phil grew up in England, he became a surgeon

  there, not here, and Kelly didn’t have an English

  accent.’

  ‘Of course,’ Grace said, then she had to ask. ‘But if

  you knew that, why did you make an appointment for

  her?’

  Becky shrugged.

  ‘To be truthful, it was because you were there. If Phil

  had been here I would have told her he had no time

  available, made an appointment in a month or two to

  keep her happy, then talked to Phil. But she seemed, I

  don’t know, uptight somehow, and she was on medica-

  tion from the look of her, so I didn’t really want to

  upset her. Besides which, Phil is great and terrific with

  patients but I didn’t know how much empathy he’d

  have with teenage girls.’

  Grace digested this information then once again

  had to ask.

  ‘And what made you think I would?’

  Becky beamed at her.

  ‘You come across all cool and calm and collected,

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  but I reckon you’ve got a heart as big as South Africa.

  Is South Africa bigger or smaller than Australia? I don’t

  know much about it except for wild animals.’

  The talk had veered from country sizes into zebras,

  which apparently were Becky’s favourite animal, then

  drifted away as idle conversation did until Grace said

  she had to dictate her notes and Becky remembered she

  had a fitting for her wedding dress and they parted,

  Becky apparently oblivious to the fact that she’d

  shocked Grace to her core.

  A big heart?

  Did Becky know about the arrangement she’d made

  for the Robinsons to come to Sydney? Grace had

  worked so hard to keep the donation anonymous and it

  had been practicality, not sentiment, that had prompted

  her to see the hospital social worker to find out how she

  could help get them closer to their baby. All it had

  needed had been some money—practical stuff!

  She’d always considered her heart more detached

  than anything else…

  But as she dictated the notes for Phil, she pondered

  how often hearts had cropped up in her day then

  mocked herself because that was what she did—fixed

  hearts.

  But the conversation she’d had with Kelly remained

  with her, and though she knew full well the heart wasn’t

  the seat of the emotions, hers still skipped a beat when

  she bumped into Theo in the tearoom.

  Unfortunately, another part of Kelly’s conversation

  popped up in her head—the part about gratitude—

  and she suddenly felt uneasy in her lover’s presence.

  Not that there was anything lover-like in his attitude

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  and she hoped, in front of several members of the

  team, she was behaving equally coolly. But gratitude

  stuck with her, so when, later, they did walk down the

  road to the brasserie, she had to speak to him about

  it.

  ‘I talked to someone today about gratitude,’ she

  began, cautious at first because for all they’d spent the

  night together she felt they didn’t know each other very

  well, and she was feeling shy and awkward once again.

  But once she’d begun the words came tumbling out.

  ‘And it made me realise that you’re doing me this big

  favour and, of course, I’m grateful but I’d like to think

  you’re getting something out of it as well, so I don’t have

  to keep on being overly grateful, if you know what I

  mean.’

  Theo gave a shout of laughter and pulled her into his

  arms—right outside Scoozi where, no doubt, half the

  hospital was having dinner.

  ‘Oh, Grace,’ he said, giving her a hug then swinging

  her around so they were all but dancing on the sidewalk.

  ‘You really are the world’s most insecure woman. For

  a start, at this stage there’s no great favour being done—

  we’re using protection, remember. And on top of that,

  do you think I was putting on my enjoyment last night?

  Do you think I wouldn’t have stuck with a non-physical

  union if you’d repelled me? Not, as I said, that any

  major decision has been taken yet.’

  He let her go but only to drag her into the shadow

  of a tree, so he could look down into her face.

  Not only look at her, but punctuate his words with

  kisses.

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  123

  ‘You—’ kiss ‘—are—’ kiss ‘—one—’ kiss ‘—sexy—’

  kiss ‘—delicious—’kiss ‘—delectable—’kiss ‘—woman.’

  kiss.

  Then he straightened up, put his hands on her shoul-

  ders and looked into her eyes, his own saying things that

  made her shiver.

  ‘Understand?’

  She managed a nod, although she was beginning to

  think she could easily go without dinner again tonight…

  They did eat dinner at the brasserie, not only that night

  but many other nights, varying their diet by trying some

  of the many restaurants closer to Theo’s home, one

  night eating fish and chips on a beach close by. But

  every night ended up in the same way, together in

  Theo’s big bed, until it became difficult for Grace to

  remember just why they were doing this.

  Until she realised that six weeks had gone by. The

  food they’d shopped for back when she’d first arrived

  had long since been moved to Theo’s place or thrown

  out, most of her clothes were now hung in his dressing

  room, and the little flat in Kensington Terrace was

  nothing more than a memory.

  Six weeks!

  She hadn’t had a period!

  But they were still using protection, weren’t they?

  She tried to think back to any time they might have

  been careless but her brain had gone missing again, al-

  though this time it was because her head had filled with

  panic. Theo had said he’d wanted to get to know her

  better before she tried to conceive, but as she’d grown

  to know him better, she’d realised it was because he was

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  wary of having another child—the pain of Elena’s loss

  still too deep.

  And right now, she realised, Theo’s feelings were

  more important than her desire to have a child.

  In fact, now that she considered it, Theo was more

  important to her than any child.

  Oh, dear, had she fallen in love?

  How could that have happened? It wasn’t what she

  wanted at all and it definitely wasn’t what Theo wanted!

  Not that Theo need know.

  Too confused to think about love, she thought about

  her body, wondering if she could feel any changes in

  it.

  As if!

  But it was a Saturday morning. She was off duty but

  Theo was working. She had intended taking a
bus to the

  city and have a look around, something she’d done with

  Theo, but then they’d done tourist things—the Opera

  House, The Rocks. This time she’d thought she’d look

  around the shops.

  What she should now do was find a pharmacy…

  It was ridiculous—they’d been using protection…

  ‘And if you are?’

  She asked herself the question out loud because she

  knew it was important.

  If she was pregnant then she’d have no excuse to

  keep up the relationship with Theo. Her goal would

  have been achieved.

  But at the cost of losing Theo?

  And although she assured herself a hundred times a

  day that she was not getting emotionally involved with

  him, she didn’t want to end their affair—not just yet…

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  What a muddle. The thought of shifting out of

  Theo’s house—out of his bed—was so upsetting she

  was almost tempted to not get a test. She could ignore

  the fact she was late and just go on as before.

  Or do a test, find out, but not tell Theo.

  That option made her feel sick and very, very

  ashamed that she could even consider such deception.

  Getting out of bed was a start. She would go into the

  city. She would buy a test kit.

  She dressed but then, instead of catching one of the

  buses she knew ran along the adjoining street every ten

  minutes, she caught a cab, asking the driver to drop her

  at the Queen Victoria Building, the only landmark she

  knew right in the centre of Sydney. Somewhere nearby

  she’d find a pharmacy.

  Which all worked well, but having the test kit was

  suddenly not enough—she had to know and she had to

  know now! A public toilet in a big department store was

  hardly the best place to find out if her long-term dream

  had been fulfilled, but that’s exactly where she did find

  out that the baby she so desperately wanted was already

  growing inside her.

  She stared at the line on the stick, checked the

  packet’s instructions to make sure she was reading it

  properly, checked the line again then gave a whoop of

  joy.

  She was pregnant! It had happened!

  She couldn’t stop smiling. To have a baby—to have

  a child on whom she could lavish a mother’s love, the

  love she’d missed out on as a child. Yes, her father had

  been wonderful, but she knew instinctively a mother’s

  love was different.

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